i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
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Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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