Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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