A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
