Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize