I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
