My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize