Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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