it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
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I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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