i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
