Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
