I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?