Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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