I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
