nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
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If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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