I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
