i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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