Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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