don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
