ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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