so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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