I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
