I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I can't put those talents on a resume
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