Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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