Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.

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  (732): my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink. http://tfl.nu/ojx1
  Replies (39) Good night (1165) Bad night (3804)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.

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  (561): Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade. http://tfl.nu/fybc
  Replies (77) Good night (728) Bad night (7408)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes

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  (859): i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes http://tfl.nu/xf12
  Replies (19) Good night (995) Bad night (3643)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized

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  (360): I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized http://tfl.nu/nze6
  Replies (16) Good night (2193) Bad night (3362)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.

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  (240): Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle. http://tfl.nu/z4p0
  Replies (4) Good night (2153) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.

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  (573): You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad. http://tfl.nu/q4da
  Replies (6) Good night (2439) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.

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  (512): when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table. http://tfl.nu/utxl
  Replies (3) Good night (1533) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.

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  (919): Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice. http://tfl.nu/je3x
  Replies (5) Good night (3076) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game

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  (781): Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game http://tfl.nu/qq6a
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.

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  (267): I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten. http://tfl.nu/d8ik
  Replies (10) Good night (904) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Maybe

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  (843): Bring a bathing suit and your good liver. (1-843): My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice? (843): Maybe http://tfl.nu/53dg
  Replies (4) Good night (1060) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face

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  (631): It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face http://tfl.nu/ptuh
  Replies (7) Good night (401) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.

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  (970): Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/bzxi
  Replies (1) Good night (322) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes

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  (+44): I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes http://tfl.nu/id2p
  Replies (0) Good night (520) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (953): View more from

  Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed

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  (953): Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed http://tfl.nu/b1fd
  Replies (0) Good night (580) Bad night (164)

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