I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
