Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good

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  (512): Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good http://tfl.nu/r9g3
  Replies (5) Good night (1428) Bad night (469)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  My hair reeks of homosexuality.

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  (256): My hair reeks of homosexuality. http://tfl.nu/3s1n
  Replies (17) Good night (1007) Bad night (781)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.

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  (404): alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/ialt
  Replies (43) Good night (568) Bad night (4706)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.

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  (678): all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night. http://tfl.nu/k3dk
  Replies (15) Good night (774) Bad night (2987)
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  (650): View more from California

  after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you

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  (650): after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you http://tfl.nu/blf7
  Replies (38) Good night (9855) Bad night (659)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.

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  (780): there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute. http://tfl.nu/rxgr
  Replies (13) Good night (3994) Bad night (1175)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on

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  (612): we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on http://tfl.nu/0rd7
  Replies (9) Good night (895) Bad night (3312)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.

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  (281): I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add. http://tfl.nu/n27a
  Replies (27) Good night (3146) Bad night (638)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.

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  (740): Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am. http://tfl.nu/1jzg
  Replies (1) Good night (1354) Bad night (575)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?

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  (480): So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast? http://tfl.nu/qa47
  Replies (3) Good night (1011) Bad night (535)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"

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  (631): I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good" http://tfl.nu/jrza
  Replies (13) Good night (1717) Bad night (735)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.

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  (202): When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast. http://tfl.nu/8acz
  Replies (3) Good night (311) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth

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  (802): She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth http://tfl.nu/i0xq
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (348)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.

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  (989): In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend. http://tfl.nu/1na1
  Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (201)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.

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  (337): Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay. http://tfl.nu/fteh
  Replies (1) Good night (200) Bad night (435)

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