Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Do you need to be saved?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No I think I'm God

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Do you need to be saved? (847): No I think I'm God http://tfl.nu/obwr
  Replies (11) Good night (1668) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark. http://tfl.nu/hjt5
  Replies (15) Good night (3321) Bad night (1487)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend! http://tfl.nu/e3rl
  Replies (50) Good night (3267) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit. http://tfl.nu/7g7j
  Replies (32) Good night (4003) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof http://tfl.nu/xt5p
  Replies (4) Good night (3885) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze. http://tfl.nu/xfyl
  Replies (25) Good night (4558) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/gw51
  Replies (10) Good night (3446) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon. http://tfl.nu/06ms
  Replies (9) Good night (2371) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like http://tfl.nu/re6o
  Replies (3) Good night (4932) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Life is too short to have fake orgasms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Life is too short to have fake orgasms. http://tfl.nu/1oh4
  Replies (14) Good night (2843) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck. http://tfl.nu/hy5d
  Replies (3) Good night (1728) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny. http://tfl.nu/z1it
  Replies (14) Good night (679) Bad night (2188)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups. http://tfl.nu/v1g8
  Replies (1) Good night (2505) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened. http://tfl.nu/qbkq
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street http://tfl.nu/mxrn
  Replies (3) Good night (642) Bad night (302)

Randomize