I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.