Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you win again, gameday.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal