porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Good thing I've started drinking again