It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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