How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
