Four minutes until I can fart!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
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