meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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