your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
