she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
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It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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