So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
