the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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