i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
