roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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