How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
