he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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