if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
