don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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