Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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