Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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