i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
