somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
