I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i barfeds in our rink
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
