Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I look better un-naked...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize