we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Still dying that you shit outside
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
