just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
