I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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