Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When are your genitals available?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
