Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize