Just fell off a train. Bad.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
