Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
