But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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