Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
