Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize