You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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