yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
