She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
